Wednesday, April 25, 2018

SMWC Music Therapy Senior Reflection 2018: Music and Providence


Each year, a senior music therapy major is invited to write a Senior Reflection about his or her time as an undergraduate music therapy student at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College (SMWC). Music therapy students experience many things throughout their time at SMWC, including the completion of clinical training hours through practicum experiences with a range of different populations, music ensembles, a rigorous curriculum, and many leadership opportunities. This year, two seniors were invited to write their reflection together because of the meaning of their friendship and support throughout this experience.

Four years ago we began the journey that gave us meaning beyond what can be placed in words… but here we try. Do you ever just stop, breathe, and realize you are exactly where you need to be- that everything in your life seems to have lined up to bring you to one point, place, and purpose? That is Providence. Maybe you were led down a path somewhat unwillingly, strike that, VERY unwillingly (I cried- Alli) (I wanted to drop out-Devyn), but what resulted was more than you could have imagined. For us, our time has been a journey of friends, love, hardship, growth, growth, GROWTH, and music. Music became so ingrained in every aspect of life that it became a way of being.  Music became the focus of our biggest frustrations, vulnerability, self-growth, love, relationships, release, tension, and so much more. Music built our greatest friendships and created our most meaningful moments, and all of this occurred because of the Providence that placed us here, together.
Freshman Year
We are Devyn and Alli, always said together, seen together, referenced together, and occasionally—no, often mistaken, for being related. We have spent the last four years, hand in hand, pulling and supporting each other through the incredible and rigorous journey that is Saint Mary-of-the-Wood’s Undergraduate Music Therapy Program. Through nearly every class, project, and endless theory assignment, we have forged together through laughter, tears, and encouragement.  Though neither of us had an initial plan to attend SMWC, we were both led here, to our friendship and the many others we’ve built while being here, to an incredibly unique and spectacular education, to growth and development of ourselves, our relationships, our music, and our knowledge and love of music therapy.  Both of us strongly believe that it was all on the behalf of God and His Providence.


The music that has comprised these last years are to what we contribute a majority of  our growth, development, and success. When looking back on where music therapy has led us, our first clinical practicum stands out in our memories. During our freshman year we were placed together (like we said, always together) at the same practicum site working with a client who was nonverbal and communicated almost solely with us through the music we shared, alongside our music therapy supervisors.  Working with this client taught us about what music can do to empower and form a connectedness among everyone who takes part in it. This amazing experience was just the beginning of what we would come to understand music’s role to be within a music therapy context. We had no idea yet of how music had the power to change our clients’ lives, nor how it was going to change our own lives over the course of our next four years.
Fall 2017 Practicum Class
We were placed together for our practicum a second time this year, during our fall semester as seniors at an inpatient acute psychiatric/behavioral health unit.  Having experienced different practicums, challenges, and victories in the time between these two practicums, we entered the semester together with new strengths and unique experiences that shaped the way we came together to co-facilitate sessions. We continued our growth by observing the other’s strengths while challenging each other to identify new areas to work toward, in addition to our weekly supervision. We assisted one another in deepening our understanding about the importance of the role of music in the session and how to provide support.  By working together, helping one another, and encouraging each other, we were able to provide even better treatment for the people with whom we had the opportunity to work.  Each session and moment of progress for us as clinicians and students became even more meaningful because our shared knowledge, understanding, and music didn’t just help us, it allowed us to be a part of deep and meaningful moments with the people we worked with in this facility. 


Allison (Alli) Payonk
Alli's Perspective: In all my other practicum experiences, I found the site where I was placed and the people I worked with always had a strong tie with the personal challenges and triumphs I was experiencing at the time.  Sometimes my practicum experience pushed me along, showing me where I needed to grow, and sometimes the growth during practicum occurred because of the processing and development I worked on outside of class. It took me a long time to learn that who I was as a person tied directly to who I was as a music therapy student clinician and that I owed it to not only myself, but also others, to become the best version of myself. When I was challenged my sophomore year with how to verbally lead and be more genuine in music therapy sessions at a memory care unit working with older adults, I also was struggling with expressing myself genuinely in my own personal life.  During that time, I leaned on music and allowed it to lead me, and slowly I grew and learned how to truly be myself in and out of sessions.  When I was being challenged by the music I was creating within choir, voice lessons, or just for myself, I found I could still share in meaningful experiences during music therapy sessions I facilitated with incarcerated juveniles and with adults coping with a range of mental health issues.  I discovered how innately connected it all is: music, self-development, music therapy, and personal life.  They push and pull one another, and in strengthening one I’ve always found more strength in the others.

My junior year I discovered the song “I’m Good” by the Mowgli’s. For a while, I kept it close to my heart as my own little secret musical motivator.  In the past year, I’ve begun to share this song.  I’ve shared it in sessions with adults struggling with mental health and with kids working towards positive self-concept.  Using music to learn and grow yourself, then being able to take that growth and share it with others so they can know its power too has summed up so much of the beauty of music therapy I’ve come to know here at the Woods. How powerful to sing the words that changed my life in a session with others, and have the opportunity to share that self-compassion and growth with others - all of which came to be through the music. 
At AMTA Conference
Sandusky, OH


Devyn Burns
Devyn's Perspective: So, except for internship, Alli and I essentially began and ended our clinical training together- seems fitting, right? The time in separate clinical training experiences allowed us to grow, change, and independently develop our distinct ways of practicing. The last four years have given me nothing but support for my belief in the power of music. I have had the privilege time and time again to see its beauty. In my junior year, I communicated through music with a child who had just spent the hour running and screaming prior to our session, letting the music calm and focus, while developing our connection. I was once told after a session that a woman with major depression and suicidal ideation had smiled and felt joy for the first time in a long time. The magnitude of music and what I am going to get to do every day in my professional life is a true blessing.

The experiences I’ve had are emotional and profound, but they have also been correlated with my own “stuff”. I had to delve deep within myself to find out how to be authentic and genuine in my practice. I had to, first and foremost, develop a confidence that I was capable of playing a guitar in front of people, and also able to actively treat and lead them through experiences. But now? Music is everything. As cliché as it sounds, it is what I have breathed and lived these last four years. I now understand that I have the amazing privilege of connecting people and reaching individuals through music. I could not have done so without my practicum experiences. I conquered some of my most ingrained fears through practicum (flashback to freshmen year Devyn covered in hives whenever singing in front of others) and realize that I am who I am today because studying music therapy has changed my life. If you have ever seen the movie August Rush, they explain the complexity of music better than I could even begin to: “You know what music is? God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars”. This is the gift that the Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College Music Therapy Undergraduate Program has given me.
Our experiences over the years propelled us to this moment, the now. We were challenged and supported by each other, our peers, and the professors here at The Woods. This is how we grew. We are who we are now thanks to these people. The Woods has prepared us to now give to others, to go into the world and spread the importance of music, the story of Providence, and what being a “Woodsie” means.
Ring Day 2017 with Music Therapy Faculty

We once worried about what the future would hold for us in coming to college.  But God provided us with more than we ever knew we needed.  So now, we prepare ourselves to leave this place, unsure of the future and what will come.  But, now we trust that God will provide for us through His Providence.  We leave you with the words we have had the honor of singing together multiple times as members of the SMWC Madrigals  from the song “La Providence”, commissioned for the SMWC Madrigals in 2012 and composed by Sydney Guillaume, based on the words of Saint Mother Theodore Guerin:

   “Pourquoi nous inquiéter des choses à venir?
    Pourquoi tant de soucis pour notre devenir?
    Dieu de la Providence, Maître de l’Univers,


Tu donnes à tes enfants plus que le né.”

Why must we worry of the things to come?
Why so many concerns for our future?
God of Providence, Master of the Universe,
You give to your children more than is needed.

SMWC Madrigals 2018


Music Technology Class 2016

Ring Day 2018
Seniors at Spring Choral Concert April 2018
Photo courtesy of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College


Senior Year



Senior Reflection Post written by Allison Payonk and Devyn Burns, senior music therapy majors who will begin music therapy internships starting in fall 2018.

Edited by: Sharon R. Boyle, Associate Professor of Music Therapy and Coordinator of Undergraduate Music Therapy Program

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