Each year, a senior music therapy major is invited to write a Senior Reflection about his or her time as an undergraduate music therapy student at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College (SMWC). Music therapy students experience many things throughout their time at SMWC, including the completion of clinical training hours through practicum experiences with a range of different populations, music ensembles, a rigorous curriculum, and many leadership opportunities. This year, two seniors were invited to write their reflection together because of the meaning of their friendship and support throughout this experience.
Four years ago we began the journey that gave us meaning beyond what can be placed in words… but here we try. Do you ever just stop, breathe, and realize you are exactly where you need to be- that everything in your life seems to have lined up to bring you to one point, place, and purpose? That is Providence. Maybe you were led down a path somewhat unwillingly, strike that, VERY unwillingly (I cried- Alli) (I wanted to drop out-Devyn), but what resulted was more than you could have imagined. For us, our time has been a journey of friends, love, hardship, growth, growth, GROWTH, and music. Music became so ingrained in every aspect of life that it became a way of being. Music became the focus of our biggest frustrations, vulnerability, self-growth, love, relationships, release, tension, and so much more. Music built our greatest friendships and created our most meaningful moments, and all of this occurred because of the Providence that placed us here, together.
Four years ago we began the journey that gave us meaning beyond what can be placed in words… but here we try. Do you ever just stop, breathe, and realize you are exactly where you need to be- that everything in your life seems to have lined up to bring you to one point, place, and purpose? That is Providence. Maybe you were led down a path somewhat unwillingly, strike that, VERY unwillingly (I cried- Alli) (I wanted to drop out-Devyn), but what resulted was more than you could have imagined. For us, our time has been a journey of friends, love, hardship, growth, growth, GROWTH, and music. Music became so ingrained in every aspect of life that it became a way of being. Music became the focus of our biggest frustrations, vulnerability, self-growth, love, relationships, release, tension, and so much more. Music built our greatest friendships and created our most meaningful moments, and all of this occurred because of the Providence that placed us here, together.
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| Freshman Year |
We are Devyn and Alli, always said together, seen
together, referenced together, and occasionally—no, often mistaken, for being
related. We have spent the last four years, hand in hand, pulling and
supporting each other through the incredible and rigorous journey that is Saint
Mary-of-the-Wood’s Undergraduate Music Therapy Program. Through nearly every
class, project, and endless theory assignment, we have forged together through
laughter, tears, and encouragement. Though
neither of us had an initial plan to attend SMWC, we were both led here, to our
friendship and the many others we’ve built while being here, to an incredibly unique
and spectacular education, to growth and development of ourselves, our
relationships, our music, and our knowledge and love of music therapy. Both of us strongly believe that it was all
on the behalf of God and His Providence.
The music that has comprised these last years are to what
we contribute a majority of our growth,
development, and success. When looking back on where music therapy has led us,
our first clinical practicum stands out in our memories. During our freshman
year we were placed together (like we said, always together) at the same
practicum site working with a client who was nonverbal and communicated almost
solely with us through the music we shared, alongside our music therapy
supervisors. Working with this client
taught us about what music can do to empower and form a connectedness among
everyone who takes part in it. This amazing experience was just the beginning
of what we would come to understand music’s role to be within a music therapy
context. We had no idea yet of how music had the power to change our clients’
lives, nor how it was going to change our own lives over the course of our next
four years.
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| Fall 2017 Practicum Class |
We were placed together for our practicum a second time
this year, during our fall semester as seniors at an inpatient acute psychiatric/behavioral
health unit. Having experienced
different practicums, challenges, and victories in the time between these two
practicums, we entered the semester together with new strengths and unique
experiences that shaped the way we came together to co-facilitate sessions. We continued
our growth by observing the other’s strengths while challenging each other to
identify new areas to work toward, in addition to our weekly supervision. We
assisted one another in deepening our understanding about the importance of the
role of music in the session and how to provide support. By working together, helping one another, and
encouraging each other, we were able to provide even better treatment for the
people with whom we had the opportunity to work. Each session and moment of progress for us as
clinicians and students became even more meaningful because our shared
knowledge, understanding, and music didn’t just help us, it allowed us to be a
part of deep and meaningful moments with the people we worked with in this
facility.
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| Allison (Alli) Payonk |
Alli's Perspective: In all
my other practicum experiences, I found the site where I was placed and the
people I worked with always had a strong tie with the personal challenges and
triumphs I was experiencing at the time.
Sometimes my practicum experience pushed me along, showing me where I
needed to grow, and sometimes the growth during practicum occurred because of
the processing and development I worked on outside of class. It took me a long
time to learn that who I was as a person tied directly to who I was as a music
therapy student clinician and that I owed it to not only myself, but also others,
to become the best version of myself. When I was challenged my sophomore year
with how to verbally lead and be more genuine in music therapy sessions at a
memory care unit working with older adults, I also was struggling with
expressing myself genuinely in my own personal life. During that time, I leaned on music and
allowed it to lead me, and slowly I grew and learned how to truly be myself in
and out of sessions. When I was being challenged
by the music I was creating within choir, voice lessons, or just for myself, I
found I could still share in meaningful experiences during music therapy
sessions I facilitated with incarcerated juveniles and with adults coping with
a range of mental health issues. I
discovered how innately connected it all is: music, self-development, music
therapy, and personal life. They push
and pull one another, and in strengthening one I’ve always found more strength
in the others.
My
junior year I discovered the song “I’m Good” by the Mowgli’s. For a while, I
kept it close to my heart as my own little secret musical motivator. In the past year, I’ve begun to share this
song. I’ve shared it in sessions with
adults struggling with mental health and with kids working towards positive
self-concept. Using music to learn and
grow yourself, then being able to take that growth and share it with others so
they can know its power too has summed up so much of the beauty of music
therapy I’ve come to know here at the Woods. How powerful to sing the words
that changed my life in a session with others, and have the opportunity to
share that self-compassion and growth with others - all of which came to be through the music.  |
| At AMTA Conference Sandusky, OH |
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| Devyn Burns |
The experiences I’ve had are emotional and profound, but they have also been correlated with my own “stuff”. I had to delve deep within myself to find out how to be authentic and genuine in my practice. I had to, first and foremost, develop a confidence that I was capable of playing a guitar in front of people, and also able to actively treat and lead them through experiences. But now? Music is everything. As cliché as it sounds, it is what I have breathed and lived these last four years. I now understand that I have the amazing privilege of connecting people and reaching individuals through music. I could not have done so without my practicum experiences. I conquered some of my most ingrained fears through practicum (flashback to freshmen year Devyn covered in hives whenever singing in front of others) and realize that I am who I am today because studying music therapy has changed my life. If you have ever seen the movie August Rush, they explain the complexity of music better than I could even begin to: “You know what music is? God’s little reminder that there’s something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars”. This is the gift that the Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College Music Therapy Undergraduate Program has given me.
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| Ring Day 2017 with Music Therapy Faculty |
We once worried about what the future would hold for us in coming to college. But God provided us with more than we ever knew we needed. So now, we prepare ourselves to leave this place, unsure of the future and what will come. But, now we trust that God will provide for us through His Providence. We leave you with the words we have had the honor of singing together multiple times as members of the SMWC Madrigals from the song “La Providence”, commissioned for the SMWC Madrigals in 2012 and composed by Sydney Guillaume, based on the words of Saint Mother Theodore Guerin:
“Pourquoi nous inquiéter des
choses à venir?
Pourquoi tant de soucis pour
notre devenir?
Dieu de la Providence, Maître
de l’Univers,
Tu donnes à tes enfants plus
que le né.”
Why must we worry of the
things to come?
Why so many concerns for our
future?
God of Providence, Master of
the Universe,
You give to your children
more than is needed.
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| SMWC Madrigals 2018 |
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| Music Technology Class 2016 |
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| Ring Day 2018 |
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| Seniors at Spring Choral Concert April 2018 Photo courtesy of Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College |
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| Senior Year |
Senior Reflection Post written by Allison Payonk and Devyn Burns, senior music therapy majors who will begin music therapy internships starting in fall 2018.
Edited by: Sharon R. Boyle, Associate Professor of Music Therapy and Coordinator of Undergraduate Music Therapy Program
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